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Mainly:

I’m just sitting here at 11:59 waiting for boyfriend to get off work. It was supposed to be an hour ago but that never happens. I haven’t seen him in a while…okay maybe like 1 day…but I don’t like that. I want to see him now and hug him. WHERE IS HE!?

fuckyeahtattoos:

This isn’t me. My friend’s grandpa died this last year, and she wanted an elephant in his memory. With the trunk raised, it’s supposed to symbolize good luck (in India I think?). Anyway, she asked me to draw it for her. And this is how it turned out. I’m personally honored. Thanks for the privilege. And RIP Grandpa Cook.

fuckyeahtattoos:

7 hours, one sitting.

3 candy bars, 2 cokes- low blood sugar after a while… =]

Trashed:

My baby got wasted last night, without me. He went out with a girl from work and her friends and he spent the night somewhere. I don’t know how I should feel about this. There are so many thoughts racing through my mind. Probably not the thoughts you’d think…

I hope me didn’t smoke a lot.

I hope he didn’t talk bad about me.

How much fun exactly did he have?

eh…

I would like to just be myself. Why is that so hard?

fuckyeahtattoos:

(via thephlipside)

i like.

Time:

The time we spend together is priceless to me. I do not like thinking about it any other way. Without you there is nothing and with nothing there is no love. I love you.

My lips are chapped and my hairs a mess but yet I decided to take one photo of myself and all my glory. Yes, I edited it but I don’t think it’s taking away much. This is still what I look like. This is me. I edit things. I still don’t know how to make the corners rounded. Without photoshop I don’t feel like a professional. I don’t like it as a square..HELP!

Today Jarod look a test. A test depending on his future. I hope he did well for it’s the second time he took it. I know he did well. I just know it!!

Sometimes the more I look at things the uglier they become. This happens with many things. From people to even myself.

My dad still can’t tell me. He doesn’t know that I know, neither that my mom knows who. It’s like this house is full of secrets that everyone knows. He can’t be a man about it and tell me. How does that make me look at my dad? Ha! Horribly. Pathetically. It’s not my problem though. It’s his. I feel sorry for him. He didn’t ask for this. I don’t think he really expected it. Well, neither did my mother or I. I just hope he gets the ball rolling and so shit that has to be done can get done. Again, this is where I see the pathetic and little boy that he is. I really don’t even know why I feel sorry. I mean, he hasn’t been there for me all these years. How am I supposed to feel about the situation? Generally I feel depressed. But there’s a part of me that is just like whatever. I don’t give a fuk about you and whatever you do. You’re my father and you did something that wasn’t right and all I can hope is that my husband doesn’t do that to me like YOU! who I’m supposed to look up to, as my father figure. Yes, that sounds right…I hope that my husband doesn’t do that to me. I look at my mom. I see her pain and hurt in her eyes. With that I feel heartbroken, for she is heartbroken. I want to cry because she is crying. I’m in agony because she is in agony. There is much distress in this house; much discomfort, misery, sorrow, despair, complete wretchedness throughout. Mother is seeking therapy and I am soon to start. Not sure what it will do for me, or even what I will say. I feel like I have nothing to say. Maybe that is a sign of much to say.

Jarod and I are doing fine. We have our occasional troubles of disagreement but for the most part we are doing just fine. We see each other for much of every day and spend every free second together. I never want him to leave. He makes me unbelievably happy and care free, which is just what I want to be. He makes me think in different directions and question higher authority. I learn from him, and he learns from me. As some point I wish to feel complete truth and trustworthiness in his words and for him onto me. This boy has changed my life. Just the other day and others days that followed, it hit me, just how much I truly love this boy. Without him I’m not whole. That might be a deep thing to say, but I truly mean it. Not to scare, but to be honest and open. To continue in the right direction. Of total happiness. :)

I am now approaching the final two weeks of the semester; of fall semester. It is a lot less stressful than expected. By dropping my english102 class I have saved myself the never ending stress of a +10 page research paper. I realize that I will just have to do it another time. A less difficult time in my life. Hopefully where my time at home isn’t so awkward when he’s alone with me. I only have a 5 page paper to write where, with luck, I will accomplish it and all its parts, for the last one was a complete disaster resulting in a C-. My first C- respectfully. I can only hope to learn from my mistake and take the professors side notes to my advantage. Haha and choose a better topic. :P

For the most part, I’m happy with where life has brought me thus far. There might be a few road blocks ahead, but nothing to severe where I can’t just hop over.

Why can’t I be one of those creative people out there?